… who everyone says he has OCD. Maybe he does have a little bit of an OCD when guests are over and he just climbs up onto the kitchen counter to wipe out a dark spot on the kitchen ceiling.
But for the mundane things that he complains about, like the dirty toilet, the dirty dishes in the kitchen sink, it’s all reasonable. Only now do I think I understand what he had to deal with.
So dear friend, if you’re reading this, I just want to reaffirm you that no, you’re not OCD. People around you just have a very low standard of living. You made the right choice of moving out. I made the wrong choice of staying for 3 years.
Though they all are chill and such, I need people who can keep a house tidy and livable. I need people who are raised to be clean and can do chores when they are supposed to. People who sometimes do extra because they care about cleanliness. I need people who actually go to the office and ask them…
We were watching tv. Then I left. Started the car and slowly pulled off the driveway. Then dad looked out through the kitchen window blind.
*Cell phone rings*
Me: Hello? Dad: Are you leaving? Me: Yes. Dad: Why don’t you stay the night? Me: … Dad: You’re leaving and you didn’t even say anything? Me: … Dad: So you’re coming back next weekend? Me: Yea Dad: Ok.
You see if I was with friends, I would have said, “All right, I’m leaving.” I felt like I should say something but nothing came out. So I just left. I didn’t feel like I belong.
Maybe I’ve been away for too long. Maybe things in the past are in the way.
When I left Davis in the morning, I didn’t plan to stop by. I was going to go straight back to Davis. But then I wanted to see the brother. A couple weeks ago I thought I’d give him a big hug next time I see him. The other brother was home instead. I guess I wanted to check on him too. Somehow I’m still looking forward to that day when he finishes school and finally marries that gf of his. I don’t care if she’s Vietnamese. Mom and Dad don’t seem to care anyway. I just want him to get married and have kids, and raise a family.
Then maybe there won’t be so much attention on me.
… is to get a MacBook to bring with me on my vacation in July. I’m planning on having a travel journal of sort. Like regularly upload my “artistic” photos to Flickr and blogging about my travel. The country has somewhat a new meaning to me. In one way it’s a coming back to visit. In other, it’s a coming back to (re)discover.
Even though I often vehemently present myself as a forward-moving individual, I’m a person of the past. In fact, past memories can eat me up at times. This time, I just want to make sure I capture everything before they’re gone. I still remember the little old fashion house with a rooftop made of tin wavy plates, the little balcony that gives access to the rooftop where we hang our laundry, the ceramics squatting toilet, the brick water “well” that is shared between the kitchen and the bathroom, the sun-lit kitchen, the wooden stairs… But the house was renovated long before we even moved to the U.S.
So this time, I want to capture the things I see in my perspective. Still debating if I should bring my DSLR there >.<