knot—結

For I am my only motivation. Tis the place I shall speak my mind.

I was in the house

We were watching tv. Then I left. Started the car and slowly pulled off the driveway. Then dad looked out through the kitchen window blind.

*Cell phone rings*

Me: Hello?
Dad: Are you leaving?
Me: Yes.
Dad: Why don’t you stay the night?
Me: …
Dad: You’re leaving and you didn’t even say anything?
Me: …
Dad: So you’re coming back next weekend?
Me: Yea
Dad: Ok.

*Hangs up*

You see if I was with friends, I would have said, “All right, I’m leaving.” I felt like I should say something but nothing came out. So I just left. I didn’t feel like I belong.

Maybe I’ve been away for too long. Maybe things in the past are in the way.

When I left Davis in the morning, I didn’t plan to stop by. I was going to go straight back to Davis. But then I wanted to see the brother. A couple weeks ago I thought I’d give him a big hug next time I see him. The other brother was home instead. I guess I wanted to check on him too. Somehow I’m still looking forward to that day when he finishes school and finally marries that gf of his. I don’t care if she’s Vietnamese. Mom and Dad don’t seem to care anyway. I just want him to get married and have kids, and raise a family.

Then maybe there won’t be so much attention on me.

Then maybe I can keep being selfish.

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  1. amanyell said: :[
  2. knownot posted this

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